Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
