Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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