please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
