haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
