you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
