Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
