Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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