His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish my penis had an off switch
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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