i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
