Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
