Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
