We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize