Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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