she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
