Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
