No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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