my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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