I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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