The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
