I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
