I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
