Who wears a wallet chain?!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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