Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
