Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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