Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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