We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
