She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
