smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
