so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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