I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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