i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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