real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
