i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
