rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
