he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
