Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
