Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
