I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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