I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The beer is more important than you right now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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