we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When did angry sex become our thing?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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