I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
