Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize