i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
