I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
