if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
