I will die if light touches me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
