ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
