I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize