Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
