I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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