Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
