We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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