found the other keg... it's in the tree
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
