we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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