It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize