you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
