Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
