Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
