My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
